If you’ve read Sue Townsend’s Adrian Mole series of books, you will know where I am coming from. Her works are a series of diary jottings maintained by a boy who is aged 13 3/4th years… her later books talk about his notings in his adult years and so on. Here is my interpretation of the Indian version of Adrian Mole on a variety of topics that are making headlines these days… have a laugh and keep coming back to this post as I will be adding to this diary as and when Indian Mole is inspired enough!
Feb 6, 2007, 7am
Tata flying fighter planes: Don’t understand why Ratan Tata chose to be the brand ambassador for F 16 and F 18 for free. He should learn a thing or two from Shah Rukh Khan. Atleast he charges an exorbitant rate and even has perfumes and watches named after him. And they call Tata a businessman. Beats me. Even a lowly pilot will charge a bomb for one sortie.
April 2, 2007, 3pm
Amitabh-Shah Rukh face off: I don’t understand how a lanky, 64-year-old can be a competition to a 41-year-old relatively shorter actor. Is there a comparison to begin with? Talking of competition, I see more promos of Amitabh’s movies on TV than of Shah Rukh’s. This could mean two things. Either Shah Rukh is lazy or he has fewer films. Did you ask, whom I prefer? No one. Shah Rukh is trying too hard on KBC. His humour is spontaneous sometimes, but most times, he comes across as a shameless fellow. If that is what he is in real life, it’s better if he sticks to acting rather than being himself on TV.
July 4, 2007, 8pm
Shilpa’s Big Brother win: Don’t understand how a failed Bollywood actress was even chosen in the first place. My friend chided me for that. He said shows like Big Brother are known for choosing B grade celebrities because they come cheap and are more game to such shows. Ignorant me. But I have one question? Her win doesn’t change her grade from B to A, does it? Isn’t it the public who decides that?
July 10, 5pm
Cyrus Broacha: Think I should replace Cyrus in The Day That Wasn’t on TV. I always believed that a better view often doesn’t need binoculars. But Cyrus appears to be shortsighted and missing the bush for the tree. How else can you explain this joke he made recently on his show? “Abell, 25, of Blue Springs was rushed to a hospital, where doctors removed a mobile phone that she swallowed to prevent her boyfriend from finding out who she had been calling. When asked. The boyfriend said, “I have no idea what the big deal is. I’ve been trying to convince her to swallow ever since we first met.”
Nov 20, 5pm
Salman Khan and Sanjay Dutt: Don’t understand the reasoning behind the release of Salman Khan and the imprisonment of Sanjay Dutt. For gawd’s sake, Salman killed an endangered deer species and he’s out on bail, but Sanjay, who merely possessed an AK 47 rifle for self defence has been asked to cool his heels in jail (he was released two months later). The criminal justice system really needs to be streamlined. The system just doesn’t understand the difference between confirmed death and perceived death!
PS: My condolences to the deer whose sacrifice went in vain!
Nov 25, 10.30pm
Ram Gopal Varma: My friend is happy-sad. He was happy that filmmaker Ram Gopal Varma has made a remake of the superhit 1975 Hindi film Sholay, but he is sad that the film has none of the fireworks showcased in the old classic. He must have just asked me instead of subjecting himself to a three-hour torture. How can the fire keep burning more than 30 years after it first came into being? Common sense is so hard to come by these days. Whew!
