I wonder, I wonder what I could be…
Here is my suggested wish list for celebrities stepping into 2010…
Madonna: Stop giving young boyfriend Jesus a $10,000 monthly allowance and adopt a dozen more babies instead.
Rakhi Sawant: Find a maid (male) in Mumbai on reality TV.
Kareena Kapoor: Ditch ‘size zero’, so Saif has more surface area of his beloved to explore.
Sachin Tendulkar: Organise more auction workshops for charity than play the actual game. Keeps him ‘fit’ that way.
Shashi Tharoor: Stop being a ‘Twitter minister’ and start being out and about.
Nicole Richie: Three resolutions - eat something, eat something, eat something.
Mukesh and Anil Ambani: Smoke the peace pipe even if it contains the harmful petrol fumes.
Jude Law: Not to get back together with Sienna Miller for the fifth time and instead find a woman to date with less of a penchant for shacking up with co-stars.
Shah Rukh Khan: Stop making news based on caste, creed or colour.
Paris Hilton: To get a real job other than just being a party girl and lose the catch phrase, “That’s Hot” because everyone is sick of hearing it now.
Ashutosh Gowariker: Start cracking jokes at himself, so others don’t.
Paul McCartney: Perform thorough background checks on all future girlfriends and start work on new album to increase cash flow.
Salman Khan: Find a surrogate mother and end all speculation regarding Katrina Kaif. He is no Salman Rushdie.
Kevin Federline: Buy condoms in bulk and actually use them, and also get a real job other than just being Britney’s ex-husband.
Britney Spears: Wear underwear on a daily basis, especially underneath dresses in public.
Gul Panag: Replace frequent tweeting with regular conversations and stop calling up friends from an unknown number and offer them loans.
Amitabh Bachchan: Stop blogging, because the more he blogs, the more enemies he makes.
Cameron Diaz: Continue with the same New Year resolution of last year: stop smoking, stop shopping and start wearing a bra.
