THE DIARY OF Z

Although this interview with the ‘Blue’ band took place more than three years ago, it’s one of my favourites because of the way the band members responded to some of my pesky questions. Here’s an excerpt from it… happy reading!

But first things first, they are four boys who are young, clean-cut, good-looking, well-dressed and somewhat acerbic if truth be told but who can, surprise, surprise, sing. What’s even more interesting than their excellent dance synchronization is the fact that they come out with hit singles often enough to keep them in the public eye. They learned that “Sorry seems to be the hardest word” along with idol Elton John and that “One Love” is all any of us need. Couldn’t get enough of their creed, or their music videos? Here’s a chance to get up close and personal before you catch them Live in your city. Cooler than Pink, the modern version of the stylistic Moody Blues, as rhythmic if not as iconoclastic as Black Sabbath and with more staying power than the hugely-talented Simply Red, say hello to Blue.

The boys are Duncan (Dunc), Simon (Si), Anthony (Ant) and Lee. Simon is spokesperson for the band, and his mood jumps from cheery to bored to antsy and well, we guess he’s bored with the Press. He certainly doesn’t lack attitude, so here it all is, from what Blue thinks of bubblegum pop and pigtailed schoolgirls to a well-articulated, we must admit, diatribe against one too many personal questions on the love angle. Hey, we thought that was what made Blue so successful? Ah, well, live and learn. Now read all about it…

If the members of Blue weren’t in Blue, what would they have been doing?

Bricklaying (Dunc). Laying, er, make that carpet-laying (Si). Cleaning out the elephants’ enclosure at the zoo (Ant). Running an antique bookstore (Lee).

Does music mean more business than art?

Man, I try not to bend my head around that stuff. I mean, money is important, but music is my life. I could live without much money, but life without music… forget it.

At which concert has Blue had the best response and what was the euphoria like?

God, I’d have to say Wembley Arena earlier this year: the crowd was amazing, they knew all the words and sang along. Then they went mental on All Rise and kept waving their Blue flags. It was special: I’ll always carry that memory inside me. Like when I’m all old and doddery, I’ll go… check that out.

What do you make of the fact that bubblegum pop music is more about image than about the music?

Bubblegum pop, Whoa! Look, the whole world as we know it today is about packaging. You got the best product in the world, put it in a shitty wrapper and what you gonna sell? I’d like to think our image is an extension of our music: we stay in shape, work hard at what we do. We didn’t get where we are by accident.

Does it ever bother Blue that the majority of its audience comprises flailing, pre-pubescent, pigtailed schoolgirls - hardly what one can call a mature audience?

Why should it? We don’t do Rotary Club gigs…

Have any of the members been to Bangalore before? Why choose to come here?

No. Because we hear so much about it: Techie hub, Silicon Valley, da-da-da-da-dah. The people here are evolved, warm, and knowledgeable about music. Hey, maybe some of those girls you were talking about would pull some what-was that? mature audiences along and they could decide for themselves what our music’s all about.

Why is Blue Guilty?

It would take too long to list. We got roped into this because we heard it was going to be a short interview… But if you check out the lyrics to Guilty, you’ll find it’s a fairly innovative use of the word.

How important is love in your work?

Lemme count the ways: Hoo baby, too many! Let’s say love is what makes everything else (the crappy bits of life) worthwhile. It’s what?… the oxygen in my bloodstream, gives me fire in my belly, my muse…

What’s the worst experience you’ve ever had in a relationship?

Oh man, do I have to do this? Ok, very quickly then, and I guess it’s not an unfamiliar experience for guys in my line of work: Being used for who I am, as opposed to what sort of human being or kind of person I am.

And what lessons have you learnt from it?

Step back, check it out, not rush into things…

Who, in your view, is an ideal woman?

Someone who is sensitive to moods, has a strong sense of identity, knows who she is and is comfortable with herself, a woman who is deeply feminine, caring, intelligent, thoughtful. Oh, and sexy, definitely sexy.

Do you think there is such a thing as love? And will you define it for us?

The name’s Simon, not Einstein. I’m not really into defining stuff that’s so much a part of me, it doesn’t really have a separate identity. Oh ok, it’s a state of mind that makes the world go round.

Apart from relationships, what are the other subjects crucial to your music?

Dreams, people and their quirks, images.

What was it like to work with Elton John (they did a duet with him on a poignant cover of his 1976 hit ‘Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word’ released in December 2002)?

Brilliant, he is a true perfectionist: It was a great experience.

And any lessons learnt?

Punctuality and what talent is all about.

Have you ever dated women who were your fans?

No comments.

In your experience as a pop boy band, has your respect for women gone up or down?

People are different and I’m not going to judge women or slot them into neat little categories. It’s pointless and I have too much respect for women to do that.

Have you guys ever done any wild, extravagant things to woo a woman?

Oh yes, I once had this gorgeous bird over to dinner. I had my chef carve a swan out of a block of ice, had it filled with caviar which I fed her with a silver spoon that Catherine the Great left me in her will. Sipped Krug 1959 from her glass slipper, stuck ‘Signed, Sealed Delivered’ on the stereo, pumped some iron and then bonked her brains out. Is that wild enough for you? Or should I tell you about the time I went ballooning over Masai Mara and fed her antelope steak, medium-rare, carved with an antique sword my ancestor used during the reign of Alfred the Great? She couldn’t keep her hands off me; the steak felt quite neglected.

Gee, Simon, sorry we asked. Bye, bye now.

Came across these fun facts on the wood industry.  Thought, you might find it quite interesting.

Happy reading!

• A generic cord of wood can be used to make 12 dining room table sets, 30 rocking chairs, 250 copies of the Sunday New York Times, 942 one-pound books, 1,000 to 2,000 pounds of paper, 1,200 copies of National Geographic magazine, 2,700 copies of an average (36 page) daily newspaper, 4,000 one-gallon milk containers, 61,370 standard envelopes, 89,870 sheets of letterhead bond paper, 460,000 personal checks, 4,384,000 postage stamps and 7,500,000 toothpicks.
• An 1,800 square foot home requires about 10,000 board feet of lumber, which is roughly equal to about 20 cords of wood.
• An acre of forested land may yield an average of 10-15 cords of wood when harvested at maturity.
• Balsa wood has been the standard material for model airplane construction since it first became readily available in the U.S. in the late 1920s.
• For hundreds of years, balsa was actually considered a weed tree. There is no such thing as entire forests of balsa trees. They grow singly or in very small, widely scattered groups in the jungle. By the time they are mature, there may be only one or two balsa trees to an acre of jungle.
• Balsa trees grow very fast. Six months after germination, the tree is about 1-1/2 inches in diameter and 10 - 12 feet tall. In 6 to 10 years the tree is ready for cutting, having reached a height of 60 to 90 feet tall and a diameter of 12 to 45 inches.
• When the Balsa tree is young, its leaves measure a much as four feet across. They become progressively smaller as the tree grows older, until they are about 8-10 inches across.
• The real start of the balsa business was during World War I, when the allies were in need of a plentiful substitute for cork.
• Oak trees can live 200 or more years. The largest certified Oak tree is one named The Seven Sisters Oak in Lewisburg, Mandeville, Louisiana, measuring 37 feet and 2 inches in circumference with a crown spread of 150 feet, and is estimated to be more than 1,000 years old!
• The first recorded Saw Mill in England was erected by a Dutchman near London about 1663, but had to be abandoned because of rioting.
• A banyan tree is the widest – it can fit 2000 people under it.
• The oldest living thing on earth is a 4,700 year old bristlecone pine tree in California.
• The Ginkgo tree provided food for dinosaurs and is still around today.
• The 379-feet tall Hyperion, a redwood tree, in California, is the tallest tree in the US.
• Incense Cedar is the name of the tree used to make pencils.

The good news. After a dismal first weekend, Jodhaa Akbar seems to have rocked on its second weekend in big centres like Chennai, Mumbai and Bangalore. And industry experts feel that the film has salvaged its reputation after all. Which is good news for director Ashutosh Gowariker. What’s more, after watching the film, I feel he deserves all the crores coming his way. He has managed to create a visual testament of a bygone era. Even if you didn’t understand Hindi or Urdu, you would be able to make sense of the proceedings. The film is shot for the big screen. So if you haven’t watched it yet, go before it goes out of the cinema halls. And try to sit in the centre isle for maximum effect. And not far back to make the most of the larger-than-life canvas of Gowariker that stretches from one army camp to another.

The film is larger-than-life because he’s talking about a supreme Mughal emperor like Akbar who ruled his citizens’ hearts and minds with his shrewd mind, a strong will and a lovely soul. By having a Hindu wife like Jodhaa, he became religiously more tolerant, and created goodwill among his subjects, caste no bar. It’s this message of religious tolerance that appealed to me most. And the fact that Gowariker spared no rupees to make it as grand as it royally deserves, makes me support him through and through this magnum opus.

I have never seen any historical Hindi film made at this scale. Impressive would be an understatement. The story is good, too. It’s about a valiant king who had to push aside his arms and ammunition and fight his way to win the hearts of his Hindu wife and his Hindu subjects. It’s a historical cry for peace and love. And it’s loud and clear.

On two occasions, tears well up in your eyes - one is when Jalaluddin Mohammed finally wins the hearts of his people who celebrate with a song and bestow him with the title of ‘Akbar’. The other is when Jodhaa prays to her demi god Krishna in restoring the health of an ailing Akbar after an assassination attempt.

Talking of performances, it takes time for Hrithik to step into the armoury of the Shahenshah of Hindustan. But he does learn all the things that go into making him truly royal in the second half. Aishwarya Rai as the defiant princess glows particularly when she shows her disdain for the Shahenshah through her simmering eyes. But otherwise, her performance is just about average. A better actress would be Kajol or Madhuri Dixit. Similarly, Hrithik lacks the charisma of an emperor, particularly in the first half. Someone like Shah Rukh Khan who has charisma in oodles could have done a better job. If you liken the last fight between Hrithik and his adversary (some unknown but bulky actor) to Troy (between Brad Pitt and Eric Bana), SRK would have been a better bet. Why? Because the six-pack Khan may not have the body or height of a Hrithik Roshan, but what he possesses is this larger-than-life persona that translates supremely well on screen. And I am not alone here. Even a critically-acclaimed director like Shyam Benegal has said publicly that among today’s actors, only SRK has the charisma that is expected of a superstar. You might hate him or love him. But you can’t ignore King Khan. That’s screen presence. That’s superstardom.

I have just one small quibble with Jodhaa Akbar. The ‘Khwaja mere khwaja’ number that was meant to be a Sufi song, didn’t sound like one. Most Sufi songs immediately connect to your soul, this didn’t come even close to it. But the song that gave the film the grandeur it deserves is ‘Azeem o shaan shahenshah’. The range, the different dance sequences, the Hindu-Muslim solidarity… all came through brilliantly and took the film to a new cinematic high. The other song that you keep humming long after the film is over is “Kehne ko jashn-e-bahaara hai”. Lyrical and ballad-like, it travels straight into your heart and stays there…
Take a bow, Gowariker. You deserve our ‘buksheesh’ for a job well done! Never expected such a grand outing from you. Honest!

PS: The best part of the film is its 3.20 hour duration. You won’t feel like it’s too long because it’s a pleasure to be on this elegant journey!!!

(This review also appears on mouthshut.com)

Call it miscalculation or a blinkered view of how films should be produced in India, director Ashutosh Gowariker has become his own nemesis with Jodhaa Akbar. By spending a lot of money on the unsung love between Muslim emperor Akbar and his Hindu wife Jodhaa, Gowariker has ended up with a weighty flop on his hands, according to IBOS Network, that claims to know box office receipts first hand. However, others like Indiafm and boxofficeindia claim that the film is a hit in Mumbai and a super hit in Mysore. Whatever be the case, one thing is certain. The gross misrepresentation of history was the film’s undoing as it has been banned in crucial states like Rajasthan, Madhya Pradesh, Jharkhand, Haryana, parts of Bihar and Panvel in Maharashtra. This by itself is a huge loss for the producers of the film. IBOS Network claims that this film could well take the distinction of being the worse All India opener in the last six years, with opening week collections standing at an abysmal Rs 23 crore. However, big centres like Chennai, Mumbai, Hyderabad and Bangalore reported a good second weekend. So observers feel that it’s not really a big flop as was previously forecasted. However, the moral of the story still remains. Don’t tamper with history. It can get back in its own way.

PS: The latest is that, the film is a hit in India and a blockbuster overseas.  After having watched the film, I feel Gowariker deserves a hit.

What happens when a young scientist arrives at the banks of the river Ganga? What happens when she sees a connect between science and religion, between its self-cleansing waters and the bacteria that inhabit it? What happens when poor children die and the government looks the other way?

It’s this ‘what’ that playwright Gautam Raja addresses in his tale of twists, The Invisible River. What makes it entertaining is the eclectic mix of characters that drag themselves all over his script - a pujari with a devious motive, a malicious ‘neta’ and a smart slum boy. Developed for the Theatrescience Project- Imagining the Future India festival in collaboration with Tinderbox Consultants, UK, this play is being done in partnership with the Theatre Royal Plymouth and Jagriti Theatre in Bangalore. The cast comprising Pritham Kumar, Sukhita Aiyar, Harish Seshadri, Veena Appiah and Joshua Saldanha is directed by Ruchika Chanana, who has helmed 10 plays so far. “The Invisible River is unusual because it combines two areas that are usually not brought onto the same platform- theatre and science,” says Chanana. “We present an issue that’s relevant to all of us – a scientific issue- which like all such issues, has an inherent drama in it. Bio-medical issues often have social, political, ethical, economic and religious fall outs…and that’s exactly what the Theatrescience project works with to give audiences dramatic, entertaining scripts, which also give them a perspective on an important or emerging cutting edge science idea.”

But why the Ganga? “The basic idea for the play was suggested by scientific advisor Mukund Thattai, and it revolved around bacteriophages in the Ganga… so it came to me dramatically perfect,” says Raja who wrote the script on Ruchika’s request. “There’s the Cauvery certainly, but if you had to choose a river by which to set an Indian play, it would have to be the Ganga. Not only is there everyday drama on its banks, there’s so much drama in its mythical creation, so much in its religious meaning, and also, so much on a microscopic level, thanks to these viruses that infect bacteria, giving the river its self-cleansing properties.”

The play is as real as it can get. After all, some pharma companies like Gangagen are already harvesting micro organisms called bacteriophages for research into their potential for treating disease, especially now that antibiotics are becoming more and more ineffective. “Bacteriophage therapy is much more natural and has no side effects,” says Chanana. “Scientists are researching the fact that bacteriophages present in the Ganga eat the germs that cause cholera - which is why the spread of the disease is not much worse than it could be.”

Cast the social message aside and the play is as effective. In fact, what moved the needle for the play’s UK collaborators was the play’s emotional quotient. “I mainly liked the play because it’s a love story and all the best stories are love stories,” says a candid Rebecca Gould of Tinderbox Consultants. One look at the play and you know what she means. The play is predominantly about different people’s love for the river… and then between Uma the catalyst and Thyagu the protagonist, and between Thyagu and his adopted son Jayant’s love for his mother. It’s also about Uma’s love for her work and Thyagu’s love for his, which in this case, is about cleaning up the river… and then there is the mother’s love for her religion… Essentially, there’s love all over the place…

Real, well-etched characters keep you engaged. “There is an effective flashback device that is used to highlight one particular scene. It is lit by projections of the river Ganga specially edited for the play from the film Jayaganga directed by Vijay Singh,” says Chanana. “The music of the play is also chosen from various sources and is very evocative.”

So what’s the most memorable part of the play, we ask Chanana. “Without giving anything away, I’d say watch out for Padma madam (enacted by Sukhita Aiyar), who plays a power-hungry politician from Allahabad!”

‘The Invisible River’ plays on March 8 at 7.30pm and March 9 at 3.30pm and 7.30pm at Ranga Shankara. For details, call Jagriti on 97406-57191 or email: art@jagrititheatre.com. More shows are planned for Delhi and the UK sometime in April-May.

Rumour has it that real estate in Bangalore has headed for a slowdown. But if you look at property buying, it’s not as bad. Yes, the banning of property registration has affected the rate ‘officially’, but a lot of transactions are happening through the ‘Power of Attorney’ route. Some are just doing the deal with the sellers and waiting for the property registrations to open, so they can register.

This reminds me of an interview I had done with Irfan Razack, the head honcho of Prestige Builders in Bangalore some two years ago. Here are excerpts from it. Just one statutory advice: Take everything with a pinch of salt. Because in this business, no one can say anything for certain.

Can one never lose money in Bangalore real estate?
No. You could in the short-term. But in the long-term, you will always gain. Property is something solid. Real estate has its phases. It may take a dip or shoot up, it may even stagnate for a while, but it’s a solid asset. You can rent or keep it vacant, it’s for real unlike the stock market, which is just on paper. The scrip valued today may not even be worth the paper it’s printed on tomorrow. You can never go wrong in real estate. But don’t look as you would the stock market, but as a long-term investment.
Where does Bangalore real estate stand right now?
I have seen that once every 8-10 years, there is a high like the one we experienced in 2005. The last time we saw this was in ’94-’95. Between 1995 and 2005, prices have gone up, stagnated, normalised and now hit a high. How long will this last, I don’t know.
Has the market already reached saturation point?
Yes. 2008 is the year of reckoning. If you are looking at the rates, I would say the market has reached the saturation point. If you were to buy a property now and expect the price to go up in double quick time, it’s not possible. If people think they can make a fast buck, I would caution them.
What’s your advice to people who want to invest in property?
If you have spare money, invest, but think of it as a long-term investment and it will certainly give you a huge appreciation in the long run. The only thing needed is patience and the capacity to hold on to your property.
How is that different from playing the stock market?
For one, you need to hand it to the experts to play the market on a daily basis and then again, the stock prices are not really under your control whereas in real estate, you have a control. You can either rent, occupy or lease and we mustn’t forget that the capital value will never depreciate. It might take a dip, but will go up eventually.
What’s essential in any property deal?
Make sure the location’s good, the property’s well-built and the titles are clean. It’s best to go to a reputable agent or developer. His track record and performance will determine his reputation.
Are the prices realistic?
They are still affordable. Once you breach that affordability factor, it goes into a downward spiral and the boom goes bust. It happened the last time after the ’95 boom. And then, inflation and purchasing power went up and the real estate prices that seemed high suddenly looked affordable. It’s pure economics at play.
What are you doing to dissuade speculators?
We don’t give more than one property in one person’s name. It’s a risk. We are learning from the past when a person bought a lot of property and when the market was not as buoyant, he defaulted on payments. We don’t want that to be repeated.
Any other lessons learnt?
Don’t be too optimistic and don’t buy at a very high price. If the property becomes too unaffordable, leave it alone. Of course, location and clear titles are important, too. If your product is excellent in whichever market, it will sell, even if it’s in a secondary location. Take Prestige Acropolis on Hosur Road. The price here is almost double the price of the buildings adjacent to it.

(This piece appeared in 080, a monthly lifestyle magazine run by Explocity Private Limited)

HSR Layout is a new neighbourhood. Therefore, it’s still pristine. But what threatens its peaceful existence is the rampant illegal construction activity in the area. Though the law permits only ground + two floors, there are many constructions that are three and even four floors above the ground floor. And the worst part is the authorities are looking the other way. If they don’t crack their whip now, these buildings would become full-grown monstrocities and demolishing them would require a lot more effort and court approval. But now, it’s as easy as falling off a log. So why don’t they just do their job? Is the BBMP (Bruhat Bangalore Mahanagara Palike) Commissioner reading this?

Health is indeed wealth in today’s disease-embedded times. Here are some handy tips from people in the medical field. Do make the most of them.

Happy living!

Dr PS Murthy, consultant psychiatrist
1.    Avoid stress by setting realistic and achievable goals.
2.    Accept the work that is given to you with a positive frame of mind, irrespective of its outcome.
3.    Take small (mini) breaks and relax at work.
4.    Take weekend breaks with family or visit places that rejuvenate and recharge you.
5.    Inform your family members about the nature of your work so they don’t have unreasonable expectations regarding your quantity and quality of time spent with them.
6.    Go for longer breaks with family/friends atleast once a year.

Dr Devi Prasad Shetty, heart surgeon
1.    De-stress your heart by changing your attitude towards life. Do not look for perfection in everything in life.
2.    Walking is better than jogging since jogging leads to early fatigue and injury to joints.
3.    Control cholesterol by walking and eating walnuts.
4.    All oils are bad. The so-called best oil company has the largest marketing budget.
5.    Drinking less water doesn’t’ lead to heart problems, but drinking plenty helps in preserving good health.
6.    Usually, you get chest discomfort or shortness of breath, months or years before the heart attack. So, when in doubt, go for a heart check-up, which should not take more than a couple of hours. And if you are past 30, go for a health checkup at least once in two years.

Dr Jyoti Prasad, nutritionist
1.    Take the best advantage of seasons and have fresh fruits and vegetables of that season
2.    Avoid anything that’s got fine flour, fat and salt.
3.    70% of your diet should contain carbohydrates (rice, wheat, ragi), 20-25% proteins (dal, sprouts), 10-15% fat (oil, fried fat, invisible fat) and the least usage should be for fat and sugar. Take that to mean, salads, cooked vegetables, chapattis, rice, a little bit of curd, lean meat and chicken.
4.    Nothing like a 45-minute walk every day. It’s cheap, you don’t need any special equipment or dress.

R Basil, Managing Director & CEO, Manipal Health Systems
1.    Always keep the medical emergency number of a multi-speciality hospital located nearest to your home and office.
2.    And always keep the number of Police control room as well as the local police station and the fire services.  Health and safety go hand in hand.

Carry your digital world in your shirt pocket. Get tomorrow’s technology today. Step right inside istore, India’s largest store for apple products. It’s an i-shaped store - walk in, and you will only keep walking, with gadgets on both sides vying for attention. From Free Agent Go that lets you store up to 160 GB of data (Rs 9200) to the large screen Apple monitor (Rs 35,600-Rs 1,01,300), there’s something for everyone. For travel buffs, there’s the world travel adapter kit (Rs 2100) that allows you to hook up to six international adapters.

I only have one problem with this store. Why do the guys bill your purchases on a PC, when they may as well afford a Mac. That’s the worst form of publicity for the big Apple!!!

iStore, No 87, Almas Centre, MG Road, Phone: 4157-1067/68. Next to Spencer’s